


Truth and Consequences

by Ree923



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angelic Grace, F/M, Jealous Gabriel (Supernatural), Mind Sex, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Gabriel, Protective Sam Winchester, Slow Build, Soulmates, Taking Suggestions, don't read if you don't like swearing or sex, plus size reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-02-10 19:17:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12918492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ree923/pseuds/Ree923
Summary: You've been saved by the Winchesters and do some research from them when needed. Castiel is a childhood friend you thought you'd imagined, and then you meet Gabriel, the soulmate you never imagined.But something in the darkness knows you fared for the archangel. Something dangerous and deadly.





	1. Bait

The bar was like any other, loud music, louder drunks looking for a quick hookup. I told myself that I was doing this for the greater good, but really, I knew I'd agreed to do this to prove myself as a hunter. I wasn't the typical athletic warrior type, I was softer, larger, all right I was fat. And while Sam and Dean had never made me feel like I was less than they were because of my size, I knew that they wished I could be more than the research assistant. They needed someone who could defend themselves in public, someone they didn't have to babysit.

I hadn't been with them long, maybe six months. They'd saved me from a demon posing as my aunt. The details are best kept in the past. Long story short, I was a mess when they found me, and though they had thought about dropping me off at a relative's house, in the end, my knowledge of angels had come into play, and I was drafted to be their 'unofficial librarian/pie baker'. It's not like I had anywhere to go.

I had found out my childhood imaginary friend was an angel. He went by Castiel, but when I met him, I called him Mr. Pigeon because of his wings. Hey I was five. I know he felt guilty about leaving me with my aunt when I was little, but who would have known she'd make a deal with a demon and try to kill me? He was quite overprotective now, which frustrated and amused me a lot.

And now I'd gotten to meet an archangel - Gabriel. The minute I saw him, my mind went to places I never knew existed. It started out innocently, we'd have long conversations while I baked. Then he'd wait until Dean had put dibs on the latest pie I'd finished, before snapping his fingers and disappearing with it, leaving a fuming Winchester behind cursing his name. Hours later, he'd come back, appearing in my room to kiss my forehead and thank me for the dessert. Of course, he'd leave again, telling me to be a good girl.

Then, the daydreams came. Long, involved fantasies where he'd slowly undress me and worship every inch. Sometimes I could swear he was watching me when I'd think about him, but when I glanced up, he'd be focused on something else. Last night, Dean had asked if I'd wanted to go on my first hunt - nothing too dangerous, more like a fact finding mission at the local bar. Supposedly a vampire was luring women to their doom, or something. I didn't think a vampire would find a fat girl delicious, but hey, if the boys thought I could help out by being bait - not that they put it that way, of course. They were really supportive of me going out and being part of the team.

Gabriel however, had not been. He'd frowned when he came to visit, and asked why I was dressed up. Smiling I'd told him of the plan and he shook his head.

"No. You are not doing that."

"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe he'd try and stop me from being useful.

"It's too dangerous, you could get yourself killed. Or someone else. It's not a good idea." He turned to the boys. "Which one of you losers came up with this idea?"

Dean glared at the archangel, "She offered to help, what's your deal? It's not like we won't be nearby."

"What, to watch her get sucked like a juice box?" He turned to me, eyes pleading. "You aren't made for this, don't go."

A flash of irritation came over me then and I snapped. "What, the fat girl is too big and stupid to help out on a hunt? I think you should leave."

"I didn't -"

"Now. Don't bother coming back until you appreciate me more." With an angry snap of his fingers, he'd gone. With an angrier snap of my purse's clasp, I told Dean to drive me to the damned bar so I could hook me a vampire. Now they were out in the parking lot, waiting for me to find the blood sucker, and lure him outside to be decapitated. Hopefully this wouldn't take long.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him watching me. The little shit. Like I wouldn't recognize him glaring at me. It would almost be funny if it weren't for the fact that I was furious with him. How dare he insinuate that I couldn't be just as important as anyone else fighting evil? Why was he judging me like he didn't care if it hurt my feelings. I decided to stare back at him for a moment, and my smile froze upon my face. The look he was giving me was not the silly, baking partner look of humor, but a hard, intense stare of disapproval. I'll admit it, my panties got a little wet. Biology's a bitch.

To pass the time, I focused on Gabriel, glaring at me like I was a wayward child. I hated to admit it, but he looked kind of hot, staring like he wanted to punish me. I closed my eyes for a moment, pretending that the bar was empty, except for myself and my whiskey eyed angel. He'd move slowly towards me, like a panther, blocking my escape. My hands would pull at his hair as he gripped my hips, urging my body closer to his. His lips would find the pulse point in my throat, licking and biting gently. Long fingers would find their way under my skirt, lightly skimming the edge of my underwear before pushing the fabric aside to plunge into my wet core. He'd be gentle at first, casually moving his fingers in and out of my willing body. Then he'd replace his fingers with something bigger, and faster. A moan escaped my throat, and suddenly, a dark haired man was next to me, smiling.

"Hello, my dear, are you here alone?" At my still lust filled nod, he sat next to me. "I'm Elijah, and you are?"

"Not interested," Gabriel said harshly, pulling me to my feet. A snap of his fingers and Elijah was gone.

"What the hell did you just do?" I snarled, pulling away from his touch.

"I snapped him over to Dumb and Dumber - they can kill him, and you - you will go home."

"I will not, how dare you come in and ruin my first real hunt. I could have lured him outside." Tears flooded my vision, and I backed away. "I really think I hate you right now."


	2. Trouble

Gabriel looked at me and started to say something, then just bit his lower lip and threw his hands up in the air. I was in no mood for him, and turned to the front door as it opened to show Dean come into the bar with a confused look on his face. I almost laughed, his hair was a bit messed up and he looked like he’d swallowed something nasty. His eyes met mine and he rushed over to me. Pulling me off to the side of the bar, he glanced around to make sure no one was listening in to our conversation.

“How the hell did the vampire end up outside? Did you tell him we were out there? Sam’s got vamp blood all over himself - I told him to go clean up before someone thinks he killed someone.”

“What? No - blame Feathers over there - he poofed the guy outside before I could even start leading him there.” I slammed a straight shot of vodka and asked for another. I knew Gabriel was glaring at me and I refused to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much that was affecting me. I knew that Crowley called Cas "Feathers", and it seemed an appropriate thing to tick off Gabriel. I wasn't particularly creative with nicknames. Mr. Pigeon, remember? 

“Gabe - we had a plan,” Dean explained patiently, as if talking to a very young child. “Girl flirts with vamp. Vamp is led outside. Incredibly handsome hunters chop vamp’s head off. All very well planned out and explained.”

“He was getting ready to bite her.” Gabriel whispered. “Did you want that? Your friend’s throat torn open for nothing?”

“He was nowhere near my throat,” I hissed, somehow hurt to be referred to as ‘Dean’s friend’ - I thought I was his friend too. “I had it under control.”

“You in no way had it under control - you were going to just give yourself to the first man who showed interest in you - even if it was a fucking vampire.” I froze at his words. My voice became steady and almost too calm as I turned to Dean.

“I’m going to get some fresh air. Keep the avenging angel off my back.”

“Whoa, you aren’t leaving.” Gabriel was suddenly right in front of me, glancing down at my cleavage. It it had been anyone else, I would have been flattered. But I was sure the archangel was just getting ready to tell me how unfit for this life I was again, and I didn’t want to hear it. I knew that I was not made for this life. I knew that once the Winchesters figured that out, I would be thrown out of the bunker. I did not need Gabriel to point any of that out. 

“And just why not?” I asked, not really wanting to fight, but feeling pretty ugly due to his actions tonight. 

“Because you don’t belong here, this isn’t you. You’re not one of those made up pretty girls trying to land a man for a night. Just go home.” His words were like ice water to my soul and I struggled to keep calm.

“Get out of my way, I’m actually feeling pretty tonight, despite what you may believe. I think I’ll see if anyone else agrees with me. After all, the vampire seemed to want to do more than bite me.”

Dean laughed. “Well look at you getting some fire in yourself - go catch yourself a man, darlin’ - just make sure you put him back where you’ve found him when you’re done.”

“Will do, fearless leader,” I saluted, and giving a pointed glare at Gabe, walked outside to get some air. Sam was just coming around the corner, still looking a bit beaten up, but no longer covered in blood. He looked like he was going to start asking questions.

“Ask Dean,” I waved him towards the bar, “I don’t feel like explaining it again.”

Sam shrugged and went inside, and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and enjoying the night air. I couldn’t help it, I started fantasizing about Gabriel again. His lips ghosting over every inch of my body, his hands holding mine above my head as he bit my throat, entering me with one smooth thrust. 

Eyes closed, I licked my lips, hidden around the corner from anyone walking in or out of the bar. My fingers found their way under my skirt, grazing over my underwear, rubbing hard as I gasped out his name. I let one finger inside me, then another - shivering with the wish that Gabriel was there in place of my hand. 

I thought I heard the flap of wings nearby, but when I opened my eyes, there was a dark haired man smiling at me. 

“Out here all alone, sugar?” The endearment, when spoken by Gabriel, was sweet. This was darker somehow and I felt a bit of fear. Oddly enough, I welcomed it. Maybe the angel was right, I was desperate for some attention.

“Here with friends, actually. I was just getting some air.” I started to walk towards the bar, when his hand shot out and spun me into his arms. I tried to struggle, but his grip became harder. Looking into his eyes I started to feel a bit dizzy. He took my hand and sucked my wetness from my fingers. I almost passed out from the rush of lust that came over me.

“Why don’t I take you back to my lair and you can tell me where my brother went, hmm?” My head was spinning. “Brother? Oh Elijah - he was cute. What happened to him again? Actually who was he, again?”

“The one who was so interested in you earlier. We were going to share you.” He held out a hand. “Let’s go for a little ride.”

“Yes, I will go with you,” I said, and we walked towards a large black sedan. Just as he opened the door, he flew backwards through the air, and one very angry angel was hoisting me over his shoulder. From the corner of my eye I saw the Winchesters decapitate an extremely irate vampire. Moments later I was in my bedroom at the bunker.

“Gabriel, what is your problem? You can’t just throw me around like a sack of potatoes every time a man comes near me.”

“Two! Two damn vampires in the space of an hour. You are a menace. Most humans go their entire lives without seeing a vampire, and you almost get sucked out by two of them!”

“No one asked you to come to my rescue, Feathers!”

“And stop calling me that,” he yelled back. “You were moaning my name not a half hour ago.”

“I-what?” The air left my lungs and he took a deep breath, turning towards me. I could see he was still angry, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his eyes taking in my disheveled appearance. Part of me could understand his concern, but I had been safe with the Winchesters. I was beginning to wonder if I was safe with Gabriel. He took a step closer, and I took a step back.

“You want me,” he growled, pulling me towards him. “You’ve wanted me just as long as I’ve wanted you.”

“You egotistical bastard,” I yelled, pushing away from his embrace. “You think you can tell me how pathetic I am all night, then have me leap into bed with you? I don’t want you,” I lied to his face. Then I gave up fighting. “Just go. Let me get some sleep and nurse my hangover tomorrow, and we don’t have to ever talk about this again.”

“Oh we’ll talk about it.”

“I don’t want your pity,” I mumbled. Gabriel stared at me, as if he was putting pieces of a puzzle together. Suddenly he smiled. 

“Alright sugar, I’ll go. I’ll see you in the morning.” And with a snap of his fingers, he was gone.

I heard the boys come home a bit later, but was too tired to do more than say goodnight through the door of my room when they came to check on me. Gabriel was up to something, that was a safe bet. But never a good thing.

 

The next day, I wandered into the kitchen and pulled some cranberry juice out of the fridge. Sam always made sure I had my favorites in the bunker. I made sure he always had fresh salads made ahead of time for when he was researching for long hours with no time to fix anything for himself. It was a good system. As for Dean - I made him an occasional pie, and he made sure I was stocked in vodka for my cranberry juice. We all seemed to work well together.

I thought back to the night before and blushed. I’d gotten off to thoughts of an angel while inadvertently attracting the attention of two vampires. Remembering the way Gabriel had thrown me over his shoulder, I stood there, in the middle of the kitchen, trying to not think about his strong arms, or the way he’d said I wanted him.

“So no walk of shame for you after all,” Dean said, walking into the room. “Two vamps in one night, you’re better bait than I’d thought.”

“Gee thanks,” I said dryly. “I’ll be sure to put that on the ol’ resume.”

“So what happened between you and Gabe?” Dean wouldn’t look at me, and he was trying to be casual, but he’d seen the angel throw me over his shoulder. 

“Nothing happened. He brought me here, yelled at me for attracting two vampires, then left in a huff. Hopefully he’ll stay gone for a while.” A vision of him biting his lower lip had me almost sigh. Then I thought about how good it would have felt if Gabriel’s fingers had been inside me the night before - how far would I have gone? I imagined him moving in and out of my welcoming heat, whispering naughty things into my ear as our sweat soaked bodies glided together as one. 

I may have moaned at that point because Dean coughed, and I jumped out of my fantasy.

“Uh huh.” Dean tilted his head and studied my face for a few moments. His lip twisted as he went deep in thought, then he shrugged. Kissing my forehead, he grabbed the apple pie I was saving for our dinner, and walked down the hall to his room. Great, now I’d have to make a new one.

Pulling out ingredients, I turned on the radio app on my phone, dancing around the kitchen. Getting lost in the music, I forgot about how Gabe had said he’d see me in the morning. However, Gabe did not. As I turned away from the counter to grab a spatula, the angel was suddenly in my personal space.


	3. Chapter 3

Gabriel wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t speaking either, and that had me worried. 

“Good morning,” I said. He just stared at me, and I felt a blush creep onto my skin. How he could do that with just a look was so unfair.

“Come to apologize for calling me a loose woman? Or did you have other insults for me?”

“You risked your life over creatures who only wanted to use you. And you didn't care.” He looked away. “Did you want either of them?”

“Did I want either of them? What kind of question is that? They were both trying to kill me.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” He was biting his lower lip, and all I wanted to do was offer to bite it for him. I felt like a fool.

“What if I did? It felt good to be wanted.” Lashing out seemed safer than trying to bite him.

“It wasn't real. They didn't find you beautiful.”

“This is supposed to make me think you do?”

I was angry at him, at least, I thought I was angry at him, but the intense way he was looking at me had me reliving a few interesting dreams from the night before. And damn him anyway for looking so good in a red button down shirt and black jeans. Just like in my dream, until you know, we were naked.

As I remembered a particular moment where he’d had me pinned against the kitchen counter, begging for release, I saw something flash in his eyes. Then as soon as it had appeared, he was backing away from me to look at the pie ingredients on the counter.

“What are you baking?” The sudden shift in mood made me dizzy, and I stood there trying to figure out what he was up to. I moved past him to core some apples, knowing that his eyes were trained on my hands, as if he knew I wanted to touch him. Slicing the apples, I refused to look at him.

“Dean ate the pie I'd made for tonight. I have to make another one.”

“For Dean.”

“For anyone who wants some,” I replied, adding the apples to the other ingredients and tossing it all together with my hands.

“”What if I want some?” His voice was too close and I swallowed my gasp of surprise. I dumped everything into one of my pre-made crusts. When you have someone like Dean Winchester around, you learn to think ahead. 

“You'll have to wait like everyone else.” I turned to look at him. He seemed very calm. I didn't trust it.

“Dean didn't wait.” At my look of confusion, he put his hands on the counter, pinning me with no escape. His eyes were a swirl of gold and longing, and I felt myself moving closer to him. This was almost like my dream, except for the fact we were still fully clothed.

“What?”

“He kissed you. He took the pie you made...for ‘anyone' and then he kissed you. So, why would I have to wait?” His voice was low, almost a growl, and my heart started to race.

“He likes pie more than you do,” I stammered. “He appreciates what I can do.”

“Not like I do. Not like I will.” His expression turned dark, and I was having trouble breathing.

My eyes widened. “Are we still talking about pie?” He shook his head and lowered his lips to mine. Just before I could sigh into his mouth, another voice interrupted. 

“Brother, have you come with news?”

We broke apart and Gabriel turned to see Castiel staring at us. 

I moved away from Gabe and put my pie into the oven. Washing my hands, I asked Cas what he meant. I felt a tension in the air and this time it wasn’t sexual.

“The two vampires killed last night were part of a larger group. You've become quite interesting to their leader.”

“It's nothing, sweetheart,” Gabe said to me, glaring over at Cas. “We're taking care of it. Dean and Sam are heading out now to follow a lead.”

My anger returned. “That's what this was? Distract me with sex so I don't try to go help them?”

“I don't think he was doing it correctly as you are both clothed.” Castiel smiled as if he'd just been extremely helpful. The way both Gabe and I were staring at the angel must have been making him uncomfortable, because he quickly said goodbye and poofed out of the bunkhouse.

“Get out.” I tried moving past him, but he wasn’t budging. 

“Not until we talk,” he said roughly. “How did you find out? Why are you tormenting me?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The way his body was tensed made me feel like his dinner. How long had it been for him? I licked my lips imagining sucking his lower lip into my mouth. I imagined my hands wandering down to the button of his tight fitting black jeans. Then my fingers slowly unzipping...

His eyes widened and then closed. Beads of sweat glistened on his face and I wanted to lick every inch of him. But knowing that he would never want me the same way made me run from the room and into my own. I locked the door before he even seemed to realize I'd left.

Moments later I heard a pounding on my door. “Let me in, damn it! This has gone on long enough.”

“Go away! You don't care about me. You just don't want me messing up your big, important hunting trip.”

“You are going to open up this door,” his voice held an undercurrent of danger I'd never heard from him before. And never had I been so glad to know my room was invitation only when it came to supernatural visitors.

Before I could say anything, I could hear Gabe swear as his phone rang. After a low, angry conversation with someone, he knocked loudly on my door again.

“This isn't over, just so you know. When I get back we are having a nice long talk about how you managed to get control over me.”

I sat on my bed, stunned. Control? Was he seriously saying that I could control him? I flung myself down on the bed and called for Castiel. The fluttering of wings came followed by my friend. He was wearing a slightly nervous expression and toyed with one of the buttons on his trench coat. 

“Hello, my friend.”

I sat up and patted the spot next to me. “Sit. Please.”

“You are going to ask me things. I'm not sure if I should admit anything to you.” At my surprised look, he moved around a bit on the bed, pulling his coat around him as if it could protect him.

“Castiel, are you afraid to talk to me? Look at me, there's no way you could think I'd be able to hurt you.”

“It's not for myself that I have concern.”

I sat there, trying to understand. “Gabriel?”

He didn't answer. “Did Gabriel say I was going to hurt him?” 

“You have rejected him. Twice. If you do so a third time,” he paused. 

“Rejected him? What are you talking about? He's never offered anything to reject.”

Castiel looked nervous. “It's not my place. And I interrupted you today before he could explain. I must go.” He rose to leave but I pulled him back down.

“Explain.”

\----------------------

Castiel found himself explaining a few things about angels. They didn't usually bond to any one human, but Gabriel had formed a connection with me. He just didn't know.

“How does something like this happen? Why me?” It didn’t make sense.

“He must think that there is something worthy about you that none of us can see.” At my glare, he shrugged. “You know what I meant.”

“He thinks I'm incompetent, that I'm going to get someone killed.”

“Can it be that he is terrified something could happen to take you from him?”

“But he doesn't know we supposedly have this connection.” I was having a hard time with it too.

“That wouldn't mean he isn't afraid for your safety.”

I pondered that for a few minutes. My dreams were how my soul called to him. But the daydreaming was unheard of in this situation. Castiel said he'd never heard of a bond that called out while the human was awake.

And until I claimed him, he was going to get more volatile. 

“So he just wants sex and then what? He'll stop bothering me?”

Cas looked pained. “It's not that simple. Somehow your soul has captured him. If you reject him a third time he will be banished. No warrior can do his duty when his very essence has been shattered.”

“Are you saying he loves me?” I was torn between laughter at how ridiculous this was, and a longing I didn't know I'd always had.

“I'm saying you have a choice to make. You don't need to...um...complete the bond until you are ready. You merely have to acknowledge that it exists. He respects you, start with that.”

I sat there stunned. Gabe seemed the most out of control when I was having naughty thoughts or dreams about the two of us. I had thought he was angry at me, but I didn't have to stop. In fact, continued fantasy might actually have him sort through how he really felt about me. And I couldn’t believe I was considering this. He certainly hadn’t acted like he respected me last night.

“How do I claim him...if I am believing any of this?”

“I am certain your dreams have given you sufficient information on how to proceed.” 

Wait. Gabriel had basically called me a slut. 

“He was frustrated that you did not flirt with him.” Cas said, trying to be helpful. Again, not working.

“Stop reading my mind.”

“Apologies.”

“Accepted. Frustrated?”

“Completely.”

“Not yet.”

=======

Dean came back first. He was alone, telling me he was going to shower. 

“Where's….um Sam? Is he ok?”

“He's fine,” Dean called back over his shoulder. “He had to calm your boyfriend down.”

Wait, what? “Dean, what are you…” The slamming of the bathroom door answered me. Damn it.  
I ran out to the Impala, but it was empty. What was going on? Maybe Sam would answer his cell phone and I could get some answers. 

The phone rang for what seemed like forever when Sam finally answered. “Sam! Where are you? What’s going on with Gabriel? Why aren’t you both back yet?”

“Whoa, calm it down, we’re on the way. Gabe had a run in with a vampire, but he’s ok and um,” I could hear voices in the background. “Just stay calm. I’m bringing him home.” The call dropped, and I resisted the urge to fling my phone into a wall.

Turning back to the bunker, I decided to get some real answers. I walked into the bathroom where Dean was still in the shower. He spun around, blade in hand, and I’m not sure he relaxed much when he saw it was me.

“What the hell, kid? Did you want to get sliced?”

“Cas would have healed me. I want to know what happened.”

“And you couldn’t wait until I was, you know - out of the shower and dressed?”

“You’re a flight risk. I don’t have time to wait until you’ve gone to town and hooked up with someone. I want to know what’s going on. What happened to Gabriel?”

“What happened to ‘Feathers’?” Dean drawled, reaching for a towel. 

“Castiel told me a few things today. Things that are yet to be confirmed. And before I do that, I need to know just what happened today with those vampires.” I took a deep breath. “Are they dead?”

“All but one - she got away. But she has a big gash on her leg, so we’ll keep our fingers crossed that she bleeds out or something. Gabe really slashed her.”

“Because?”

“Because, she mentioned your name. Said that she was going to avenge her brothers.” Dean stepped out of the shower, towel around his waist. I didn’t move. He waved a hand over my face.

“You in there?”

“Yeah. How did she know my name?”

“Probably because you were hypnotized by at least one of the fang gang, and your name was sent back to Dracula’s bitch.”

“I’m sorry I messed this up for you guys.” I looked down at the floor and was surprised to feel Dean lift up my face. 

“You didn’t mess up anything. You did good. You were responsible for two of the sleaziest vampires in the world getting what they deserved. And we will always protect you. You know that, right?”

“For how long, though? I’ll never be able to go out in public again.” My mind was racing, and he pulled me in for a long hug.

“It’s just one small group of vamps. Most of them are dead, thanks to your boyfriend. All that’s left is one queen bee, and once she’s done - you’re safe. But yeah, until that happens, you will have to stay close to the bunker.”

“Meaning I can’t leave the bunker,” I sighed.

“Get your hands off of her, Winchester,” Gabriel growled. 

“Or you’ll what?” Dean laughed. Gabe went towards Dean, who realized he was in just a towel. Dean ran back into his room, leaving me holding a large towel.

Gabriel turned towards me, but before he could say anything, I ran past him to my room, locking the door. I needed time to think.

The door flying open made me shriek. Right before Gabriel walked into my room and flung the towel from my grasp.

“Time to have that chat, darling,” he said in a low voice.


	4. Chapter 4

The door flying open made me shriek. Right before Gabriel walked into my room and flung the towel from my grasp.

“Time to have that chat, darling,” he said in a low voice. "And you can start by telling me why you were hanging on to a naked Winchester so tightly."

"He was comforting me, you know - the thing friends do when they see someone upset. Unlike what you do, which is insult me then think I'll jump into bed with you."

"Do you want him?"

"Seriously, is that your only setting - "do you want him"? First with the vampires, now with one of my best friends. Why don't I just put a big red 'X' on the foreheads of every man I want to screw?"

"So there are other men?" He asked, a dangerous heat in his question.

"Yes, because I'm such a catch," I said dryly. "Dean's just the latest on my list. We'd probably be fucking right now if you hadn't interrupted us." 

"Do you make him want you like you make me want you?" His voice was low, and I started getting chills. "Do you send him sexy little fantasies where he's bending you over a desk, pumping into you like your body was made for punishment?" 

"You're being ridiculous."

"Am I? Every time I'm near you, I can feel your hunger for me. Tell me what you've done to me."

“How did you get in here, Sam warded this place against supernatural beings,” I stammered. He didn’t answer, he just stood there, breathing heavily. The door to my room slammed shut on its own, and I could see the deadbolt engage. Then the wards came back, shimmering faintly before settling into the heavy door frame. 

“You keep wishing for me, it turns the wards off.” He stared at me, then came closer, smiling. I didn't trust that smile.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” I lied. Gabriel pushed me back onto the bed and I landed with a loud thump. 

“You must want something. Everybody does,” he said calmly, unbuttoning his shirt. He tossed it to the side, then took his boots off, his golden eyes never leaving mine. The temperature in the room seemed to skyrocket. “The question is, what exactly made you ensnare my soul - and what will I have to do to get it back from you?” 

He crawled onto the bed, and I scooted backwards, my mind racing. Was he offering sex to free himself? Did he hate me that much, that he would just sleep with me to get me to release him from a fate he despised so much?

“Answer me,” he hissed. “What spell did you cast? Why do I want this so much?”

“You don’t want this,” I glared. “You just want to prostitute yourself enough that I let you go. Fine - you can go. I don’t need you, no matter what Cas says.”

“Wait. What Cas - what did my brother say to you?” His hands gripped mine and suddenly I was under him, his hot breath ghosting over my face, his hard body pinning me to the mattress. I took a deep breath and instantly regretted it, his scent filled my dirty mind, and I gasped. I needed more. But he didn’t, and we couldn’t. Not like this.

"It doesn't matter. You don't really feel anything for me except pity. Dean at least knows I'm a woman."

"Dean is never touching you," he said darkly. I laughed.

"He was touching me pretty well before you showed up." My mouth was going to get me into trouble. 

"Why were you touching him back?"

"I wanted comfort. He said I can't leave the bunker because of that vampire. Cas said that you -"

"That I what?" His eyes seemed to reach into my soul, and I didn't like feeling like he had that much power over me. It was ironic that he thought i had power over him. So much would be different if that were true.

“He didn’t say you hated me, but that’s the feeling I’m getting.” His eyes narrowed in confusion, and my mouth kept going. “He thinks that we are bonded to each other, that you have some sort of need to claim me. But you don’t - you can’t think of me that way, and my fantasies about you just make you angry. That’s why you are here - you want to do this fast and dirty and get me to release you from a connection that I never asked for, not really. Please just go.”

“You don’t want this?” For the first time, Gabriel looked uncertain. “You created this bond. You drew me to you. What sort of game are you playing?”

“I’m not.”

“Don’t lie to me - not about this.” I felt ghostly hands under my blouse, and started babbling.

“Fine, I admit I thought that I would push the limits tonight to see how far we could take this, but you just want it over with so that you can get me out of your head. I’m sorry but my pride is stronger than my - affection for you. I won’t be used like that.”

He shifted, and I could feel his hardness press against my thigh. Sweat covered my brow and my breaths were getting more ragged with each moment under him. He leaned in and captured my mouth, demanding entrance. His hands were everywhere, pulling me in closer, sliding under my clothes. We broke apart, and his eyes looked as though fires raged through them, I couldn’t look away.

“What pride?” he hissed, fighting for control. “You’ve taken it, sweetheart. I can’t function out there anymore. I let a vampire almost get the best of me tonight. All because of you.”  
“Then get up and leave.” I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. “Go out, and find a quick lay. Whatever connection you think we have will be broken if you go sleep with someone else, right? Just go.” 

Suddenly it felt like tendrils of wispy smoke were surrounding me, holding me down. The tendrils grew harder, tighter around me, and the heat in his eyes held me even tighter.  
“I’ll admit that I’ve had feelings about you, your voice enters my head - your dirty little thoughts play out in my mind until all I want to do is rip your clothes off and make you scream my name. I don’t dream, but I dream about you.”

“Gabriel,” I said, but he kept going.

“I’ve felt things for humans before. But it’s never been this strong with any other woman - or man.” He paused, as if he was fighting his own need to confess. “You must have done a spell.” I shook my head, and he closed his eyes, groaning with frustration.

“If it isn’t a spell, and you don’t really want me, then I don’t know what to do.” He seemed to have a problem breathing. He looked deep into my eyes and time seemed to stop. Maybe it did.

“Are you rejecting me again?” His question caused a slice of pain around my heart. It made me cry out, and there was a voice inside of me screaming to let Gabriel claim me. I had to fight this, didn’t I?

“I’m giving you a choice. You don’t think I can be a hunter. You can’t be with a woman who can’t protect herself, who can’t live this life. But I can, Gabriel. And if you can’t see that, then this is pointless.”

“You got lucky, you aren’t made for this.”

“I can’t be with you until you admit that I’m on equal footing with the boys. You think I need to be babied. I’m going to keep helping the boys hunt.”

“You will not,” he growled.

“I will,” I assured him. “And until you get it through your thick skull that I am an asset to this team - this,” I pointed from myself to him, “won’t happen.”

“I’m not going to allow you to get hurt.”

“That’s not your call.” We glared at each other for a long moment, then he jumped off the bed and started pacing.

“Fine - we’ll do it your way. You can try to hunt, and I am going to stop you.”

“No, I am going to hunt, and you are going to respect me.”

“You think I don’t respect you? If you were any other woman, I’d have left you to deal with those vampires on your own.”

“No you wouldn’t, because you are better than that. But I don’t think you would have thrown any of them over your shoulder.” I grinned at the memory.

He stared at me, then sighed. “I’m spending the night here with you. I don’t have the energy to do much else, but I can’t be away from you anymore.”

My gaze softened, and I watched as he crawled back into bed with me.

“Fine, we’ll need a good night’s sleep for tomorrow’s hunt. There is still a vampire out there who knows my name.”

“I’ll handle it.” His tone made it clear that he meant business.

“We’ll handle it.” I put my arms around him, feeling safe and unsafe at the same time. “And then, we’ll see what this bond means.”

“You do want me.”

“We’ll see.”


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, I felt different. There was a weight on me that I didn’t recognize, and my bleary eyes opened to find Gabriel lying next to me. With his eyes closed, the lines of worry from last night were eased, and his breathing seemed to sync with mine. I raised a hand, tracing over his face with a sort of reverence.

I could feel him in the back of my mind, and wondered about it. Was Castiel right? Or was it wishful thinking that this infuriating angel was bound to me? I cautiously reached out with my heart, and felt his grace settled around me like a blanket. Whatever he thought he felt for me, it was not so scary in the early morning light.

He needed sleep in spite of him saying he didn’t dream and I attempted to send thoughts of rest through our bond. It seemed to be working. He sighed, and I knew he’d sleep for awhile, I also knew he wouldn’t be happy with me for using this new bond to make sure he slept while I left the bunker.

It was obvious to me that the only reason Gabriel was in my room was because he thought he needed to protect me. I eased out of my bed and made my way down to the shower. Part of me wanted him to follow me, but I had to hurry if I was going to join Dean and Sam on their hunt today. I wondered if Gabriel thought that I could be distracted by his attention long enough for the Winchesters to leave.

I’d brought some clean clothes into the bathroom with me and changed quickly.  
Dean was already in the Impala and looked at me in surprise as I jumped in the back seat. 

“Hey darlin’, where do you think you’re going?” His hazel eyes stared into mine through the rearview mirror and I shrugged. Sam jumped in the car, and I smiled at them both.

“I’m going with you. The quickest way to find that vampire is to have me with you. She’s looking for me.”

“And that is why you aren’t coming with,” Sam said, turning around to face me. I glared at him.

“Listen, I was pretty useful the other night and you managed to kill two vamps because of it. I can help. Besides, I don’t want to keep feeling this way. I can’t keep feeling like everyone around me needs to work to protect me when there is a real job to be done.”

My voice had dropped, and maybe he understood, because Dean started the car, easing onto the dusty roads. He knew I had to do this, and I think he also knew it would tick off a certain angel. So in his book, this was a no brainer.

“Dean, what are you doing? She can’t come with us,” Sam argued, but Dean kept on driving, his hands gently tapping the steering wheel to the sounds of the radio.

“We can keep her safe enough. And she’d only go off on her own if we tried leaving her here.” He glanced at me through the mirror, smirking, “wouldn’t you darlin’?”

“You better believe it,” I agreed. “You know what they say, in for a penny, in for a pound.” Sam just rolled his eyes and threw me a map, telling me to make myself useful. We had a long ride ahead of us.

“So,” Dean asked in a casual sort of nosiness, “Where is Gabe?”

“How would I know where he is? He doesn’t tell me his plans.” I looked out the window and prayed I was not blushing. I could tell the angel was still sleeping, but it wasn’t going to last forever. And when he woke up, well, I didn’t want to think about that.

“He seemed kind of nervous about leaving you in the bunker when we called him for help. Sounds like he worries about you,” Dean said, a hint of mischief in his eyes. 

“Of course he was nervous, he doesn’t trust me - but I don’t have that problem with you two, do I?” I looked from one Winchester to the other, and although Sam’s shake of the head was less believable than Dean’s, I had to believe that I was right to hunt down this vampire and prove myself.

“Everyone has a right to prove themselves,” Sam finally said. “Just, don’t do anything rash, okay? I don’t want to have to regret this.”

“Me either,” I said seriously, and he gave me a small smile before turning back to watch the passing scenery.

Hours later, we found ourselves in a small town that looked deserted. Our informant, a friend of Bobby’s, had called Sam and told him that a vamp nest was somewhere in this small town, but no real clue just where. Sam said it was a reliable friend who gave the intel, so we didn’t ask questions.

‘Sweetheart,’ a voice in my head whispered, and I stifled a gasp. ‘Not a good idea knocking me out. I told you that I wasn’t going to let you hunt.’

“You can’t stop me,” I said out loud. The boys looked at me weird and I coughed. “I mean, neither of you can stop me from trying to help, so what do we do first?”

They looked at each other and then at me. Sam shrugged and threw an arm over my shoulder, hugging me to him for a moment. 

“Dean’s right, it’s probably safer keeping you with us that trusting you out on your own. But you have to do what we tell you, and if we get into a situation that looks bad - you run, do you understand that? You run, and you don’t stop running until you get back to the bunker.” He looked at Dean, “Give her your keys.”

“What? Why?”

“Because if she has to take Baby back to safety, and you’re skewered by a vamp, she’s not getting the keys too easily is she?”

“You think I can’t protect myself?” Dean was a bit irate, and I kept glancing around, hoping no one was near enough to hear their topic of conversation.

“I think we have to protect her. We're all she has.”

‘I’m coming to find you,’ Gabriel’s voice was low and tense. ‘And then we are having a chat about you knocking me out to get yourself killed.’

“I’m tired of everyone thinking that I can’t do anything right,” I almost shouted, and the boys stopped bickering to stare at me.

“Sweetie, we never said,” Dean started towards me, and enveloped me in a hug. I heard a growl deep within me, and almost smirked. Gabriel was not happy. The grin I had faltered when I had an image flash into my head of my angel glaring at me. My mouth grew dry, and I could almost feel his hands roam over me, pulling me to him, biting the pulse point on my throat. I felt like I was close to coming, and he wasn’t even with me. I was going to go crazy before this was over, I just knew it.

“I know, can we get a room and just figure out how we are going to hunt down this vampire tonight? I just want this over with, I want to prove that I’m not a liability.” I couldn’t think straight, I just knew I needed a cold shower before they figured out what was happening to me.

“You’re not a liability,” Sam said, kissing my head. “You’re very important to us, that is why we are trying so hard to keep you safe. You get that, right?”

“I know,” I said, as we made our way to the little hotel we saw as we’d entered town. No motel in sight, so at least we’d stay somewhere nice for a change. We got adjoining rooms, and Dean ran out to get some food. None of us really wanted to go out just yet after what had happened to me the night before.

I took a shower and changed into shorts and a T-shirt. I took a good look at myself in the bathroom mirror, trying to understand what was happening to me. Maybe Gabriel was just really overprotective and didn’t want me the way I wanted him. Maybe I had confused him, or myself. I didn’t have any answers, so went and sat down on my bed. Sam came into the room, once he realized I was dressed and saw the look on my face.

“Tell me what is going on,” Sam said, sitting next to me on my bed. “I get that you’re worked up about the vamp thing, but you seem, weird.” 

“Thanks,” I smirked, opening up a bottle of water. I took a long drink, and put the bottle on the nightstand next to me. “I thought being weird was all part of the life you guys lead.”

He sighed, pulling me closer. I wondered why Gabriel hadn’t found us yet. 

‘Because somehow, you are blocking me,’ his voice hissed in my head. ‘I can’t get a read on any of you numbskulls. Where are you?’

“I have no clue,” I said honestly. Sam looked at me funny and I came clean about everything with Gabriel, including the in my head chat. He stared at me for the longest time, then started laughing hysterically.

“Oh my god, all this time, Dean and I wished we had a way to keep him from messing with us, and you put a whammy on him.”

“I did not,” I laughed. “I don’t know how I’m blocking him. Besides, he doesn’t have any faith in me - he thinks I’m going to mess this up, I can’t honestly be with someone who doesn’t think I can survive in this world. And I will - I’m not going back to my old life. I’m with people I think care about me.”

“We do,” Sam said gently, and he kissed the top of my head. I sighed, leaning into him and Gabriel’s voice came through loud and clear. If I wasn’t so worried about the hunt that evening, I would have been laughing.

‘When I find you, you are not going to be laughing, sweetheart. I’m going to claim you in every possible position known to man or divine, and you are going to scream my name until you can’t breathe.’

“You’ll have to catch me first,” I said, and Sam chuckled. 

“He’s talking to you again?” At my nod, Sam grinned and kissed the tip of my nose. “Tell him I think you’re cute.” The answering growl in my head actually started to get me wet, and I had to rub my thighs together. 

“Aw, are you getting hot for me?” Sam smirked, knowing full well that Gabriel was listening in to the conversation. “I can make you feel so good, baby girl.”

Dean was in the doorway, a shocked look on his face. Sam and I looked at him, then each other, and laughed until we couldn’t breathe. It was exactly what I’d needed to calm myself, and I thanked Sam for getting me to laugh.

“I could make you do more than laugh,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows, and I won’t repeat what Gabriel said, but I squirmed a bit at the thought of his tongue doing all the naughty things that were being promised. I moved to hug Sam, just to keep my balance, and he held me to him tightly. Dean looked as though he’d walked in on his parents having sex, and I breathed out another laugh.

We explained my situation with Gabriel, and Dean shook his head, smiling. “That mojo you have could be a useful thing, princess,” he chuckled. “Always good to know we can keep Feathers off our back when we need to. I think having you with us just got better.”

_____________________

An hour later, we were heading downstairs to a manager’s reception - you know, one of those things a hotel does to get people drunk and talking to each other so they forget that they have other things to do. The hotel was more like a small B&B, and I glanced around at the other guests. I had a strange feeling about this place, especially since we hadn’t seen anyone else in town up til now.

There were five other guests sitting around the large living room, all drinking wine or beer. Except for one woman who was sipping tea. She gave the three of us a long look before turning back to her companion to continue their conversation.

I sat down with Sam on one of the low couches while Dean went up to the bar and ordered us some drinks. Coming back to the table, he sat on the other side of me and nodded to the other guests.

“Hey y’all, how’s it going?”

“Good,” one of the men said. “Just passing through town on our way to Chicago. You?”

“On a little road trip with my brother and sister in law,” Dean answered and I almost choked on my wine. “They just got married a few months ago, and I missed the wedding because of work. We figured we’d catch up and travel a bit since the kids here are trying for one of their own, and sis here wanted to get one last trip out of her system before settling down.”

I was what? Sam got on board with the program almost immediately, and pulled me closer to him. I kept silent, not knowing what was going on, but sure that Dean had a reason for what he was saying.

The woman smiled, and I shivered. Why did she seem to familiar? She nodded to us and sipped her tea before speaking. 

“I’d like to welcome you to our humble dwelling, I’m Marta, and my husband Joel and I own the hotel.” One of the men raised his glass of wine, and we smiled back at him before turning our attention to the woman again. Something about her was almost hypnotic.

After a glass or two of wine, I was feeling pretty relaxed, and Sam was playing his part really well, massaging my neck, and whispering sweet things into my ear while Dean challenged one of the guests to a game of pool. I hadn’t heard anything from Gabriel since his earlier threats, and figured he had just given up until we went back to the bunker. 

“Sweetheart, could you get me another glass of wine?” I murmured to Sam, letting my hand rest on his thigh. In for a penny, and all that. 

“Sure thing, dearest,” he said, winking at me. I watched him walk away and didn’t notice the woman sit next to me. 

“Hello, dear, are you enjoying yourself?” Her deep blue eyes looked into mine, and I started to feel very relaxed. 

“Yeah, I mean, it’s very nice here.” I noticed that Dean and Sam were talking to each other, and since I was no good at lipreading, I turned back to the owner and smiled. “It seems like a good place to live.”

“I’m so glad you think so,” she said, smiling. “Some people come to visit, and end up staying permanently.” Her hand reached out and went to brush hair off of my face. I was getting dizzy. Was the wine really that strong?

I looked over to where the boys had been talking and frowned. They weren’t there anymore. Instead, Gabriel was staring at me as if I was the only person in the room. I looked back towards the woman who was stroking my hair. What was going on here?

“Your brother and husband seem to have disappeared along with the other guests, perhaps we should find them.” Her eyes seemed to glow, and I nodded, standing up to take her hand. Gabriel was gone, and maybe I’d just imagined him. 

We walked towards the kitchen, and down a flight of stairs. Entering a small room, I saw the Winchesters kneeling with their hands at the backs of their heads. The three men I’d seen upstairs had guns trained on them while Joel, the husband had a long knife in his hands, grinning down at them. He looked up to see us enter and motioned for me to sit in a chair. 

“I find this so amusing,” Marta said, pushing me down into the chair. “You three were looking for us, and we were looking for you. Must be fate.” 

“We don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dean said, and I could see he had a black eye. “We’re just passing through on our way to Chicago.”

“Oh why leave when things are just getting interesting?” Marta asked, an innocent look on her face. “You are quite welcome here, and we have much to discuss. Such as, my brothers. The three of you killed them, and now it’s time for you to die.”

Just then, the lights went out and I was pulled from the chair. Before I knew what was happening, a voice told me to get up the stairs, and the Winchesters were fighting their captors. I snapped out of it to see Gabriel fighting Marta, her fangs finally coming out as she tried stabbing him with a nearby blade. 

While I knew that the knife wouldn’t kill him, I was furious. I grabbed a nearby lamp and threw it at her head. She turned to grab me, and the voice that had told me to go up the stairs grew louder.

“I told you to go upstairs,” Castiel shouted, pushing me towards the stairs. I kicked his shin and went to grab whatever was closest to me. I had to protect Gabriel. 

“Help him, you idiot, don’t worry about me - I’m nothing,” I cried. The boys had defeated their assailants, but the two vampires were closing in on Gabriel. Joel raised a weapon towards my angel and I lunged towards him, impaling myself on the blade. Time seemed to stand still as Gabriel screamed, using Marta’s own weapon to decapitate her. 

I fell to the floor, only half noticing that Castiel had started glowing, and that Joel’s screams echoed throughout the cold, musty basement.


	6. Chapter 6

I was under water, and the currents were pulling me deeper into nothingness. Occasionally I could hear what I thought were shouts, and crying, but I couldn’t open my eyes. Was I dead? I didn't feel dead, but it's not like I had anything to compare it to.

There was a doorway I was being thrust towards, and then a bright warm light that invaded every cell of my body.

I felt like I was being pulled upwards towards the surface of the dark, cold ocean. But the door was somehow following me? I tried to call for help, then I felt a hand touch my leg, and I screamed into the darkness.

I gasped, sitting up quickly. My breaths were erratic, I couldn’t focus. Where was I? Gabriel, oh no, where was he? My eyes darted around to every corner and I was vaguely surprised to see I was back in my own room in the bunker. Castiel had a hand on my leg, but I didn’t think that had been the hand in my dream. If it was a dream. I looked around wildly, not sure of anything.

“Easy now,” Castiel soothed me. “You’ve had a shock to your system.” Well, that was an understatement.

“What happened?” meaning of course, where’s Gabriel? Cas took my hands in his and told me to take a deep breath.

“What do you remember?”

“Um, the vampires had a hotel and we were on the menu. Then Gabriel and you...you were both there and,” I took another deep breath, “I got hurt.” I lifted the hem of my shirt and saw there was a faint scar.

“Apologies, my healing could not take away the scar, given that it was a vamp’s cursed blade. In time, it should fade a bit more.” There was something he wasn’t saying about that, but I had bigger worries.

“Where is Gabriel?” I asked, not sure I wanted the answer. I didn’t remember anything after impaling myself except Gabriel screaming, and that bright light. And that door, but no, that was just a dream and I had to focus on reality. Castiel stared at me for long moments, as if trying to determine my state of mind. Suddenly he shrugged and sat back in the chair next to my bed.

“He is gone.”

“Well, when is he coming back?” Cas wouldn’t meet my eyes, wiping his face with one hand. He looked down at the floor, ignoring my glare.

“Castiel - what is going on?” No answer. “Where. Is. Gabriel?”

He frowned, then looked up at the ceiling as if someone was talking to him. If that angel thought he was going to hide.... I looked at Cas again, waiting.

“He failed you. He exiled himself. You will not be seeing him again.”

“Failed? He - failed?” My mind was racing. “No, he didn’t fail anyone. I’m okay, he knows that, right?” 

“He knows that you were hurt, and that I healed you. In his mind, he is not worthy of your affection.”

“Oh no, he doesn’t think you are because you healed me, right?” No answer, and a rising heat stained his cheeks. “Castiel. Are you serious?” Part of me wanted to laugh, but a bigger part of me was furious at Gabriel for running away. You don’t run away from a soulmate. A voice in the back of my head reminded me that I had been running from Gabriel, and I shot that mess down quickly. That was totally different. I’m not sure how, but it was.

I reached out through our bond, and - nothing. I couldn’t feel him. I turned panicked eyes to my friend and grasped his hand.

“Call him back. Tell him I need to talk to him.”

“I cannot. Where he has gone, none can reach him.”

“But, you were just talking to him.”

“I was not. I was talking to the angel in charge of locating childish, ridiculous archangels who, never mind. I was not speaking to my brother.”

“What if we need him? What if something happens and he’s not here, that is really inconsiderate of him. We need to find him.” I tried sitting up, and Cas gently pushed me back onto the pillow. 

“You need to rest, you have been through a trauma. My brother does not wish to be found.”

“Your brother is pain in the ass, and I need to talk to him.”

A flicker of amusement crossed his face. “Sweetheart. There is nothing we can do, except wait. If he chooses to return, he will. You however need to rest. Please.”

I sank down into my bed and pulled a pillow to me. It still smelled like my angel. Trying not to cry, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

\--------------------------------------------

I’d like to say that he found me in my dreams, but I’d be lying. My dreams were always the same. A door under the ocean that called to me, just like the one I’d seen as Castiel healed me. Every night I was back under the water, feeling the currents pull me to the door. Then every night, I woke up shaking, terrified of something just out of my line of vision, always watching as I came close to drowning. I didn’t tell the guys about it, I figured I was just traumatized from seeing myself impaled on a blade. Thankfully, my dreams never revisited that moment. 

I looked at my phone, 3AM - just great. Everyone is asleep by now, even Sam, who researched way too much for his own good. I had no idea if they had ‘lady friends’ over for the evening, but I was thirsty and needed to grab some water from the fridge. I’d been ‘resting’ for four days, and was just now starting to feel better. I had never heard of it taking this long to get back to normal when Cas healed someone. Maybe I was just depressed.

Stumbling into the kitchen, I found the water and sat at the small table. I looked around, memories of Gabriel and I baking together. Memories of when we almost kissed near the counter. That got me thinking of our night together, where nothing had really happened, but so much seemed to have been decided. He couldn’t have really exiled himself, he felt our bond - or he did before he somehow turned it off. 

I felt sick. Maybe I was coming down with something, or maybe I wasn’t healing fast enough for my body to adjust to me walking around yet. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on how I was going to move forward without my angel.

“Hey kid,” Dean’s low voice made my eyes open quickly. “Couldn’t sleep, either huh?” He walked over to the table and sat down across from me, looking a little worried, but acting like he wasn’t. I gave him a small smile and shrugged.

“All I’ve been doing is sleeping.” I looked at him, suddenly very tired. “I ruined everything, Dean.”

“Why would you say that? You were great,” he said, then saw my look of disbelief. “You were. You could have run, but you ran right into the fight and distracted the vamp long enough to have your boyfriend slice her head off.”

“Yeah, I distracted her by running into a long, sharp blade,” I said wryly. “I don’t think that’s something to put in the training manual.”

Dean waved a hand in the air, as if what I said was ridiculous. “Bah, every hunter gets shanked now and then. You knew Cas would zip you back up, and he did.”

“And now Gabriel is gone and thinks that Cas is my real soulmate because he’s the one who healed me.”

“Well it’s kind of his gig, right? Feathers knows that.”

“Apparently not, because he’s gone. Cas said he ‘exiled’ himself and no one can find him. And I can’t feel him in my head anymore.” Tears came to my eyes and I wiped them away angrily. “Just when I started thinking that he could really like someone like me, he ran away because I got hurt and he knew he was right the whole time - I’m not made for this, and I ruin everything.”

“Now hold on a minute, darlin’, you did not ruin a damned thing. That idiot ran scared because he loves you.” At my look of ‘what the hell’, he wagged a finger in my face, making me want to giggle.

“Don’t laugh when I’m being all wise and shit. When you got skewered, you didn’t see his face. I have never seen him look as serious and angelish as he did.”

“Angelish? Pretty sure that’s not a word.”

“Hmm, if it’s not, it should be,” Dean shrugged. “My point being - the guy went nuts when he saw you hurt. And not in a ‘oh my gosh, my friend is hurt’ way, but as an avenging angel, kill you where you stand way. He sliced that vamp’s head off cleaner than butter in a blender.”

“Have you been drinking?” I was trying hard to keep a straight face. He smiled at me like I’d figured out a huge secret.

“Just so happens that I did take a nip or two earlier when I came home.”

“And before you came home?”

“Hmm, I may had had a few sips of something at the bar.”

“What was her name?” I asked, trying not to laugh. He gave me a look of mock outrage.

“You are becoming a bit nasty, little miss.” He laughed, and after a minute, I joined in, needing some release. He held my hand and I tried not to get all teary eyed from the gesture.

“What if he never comes back?” I asked him, and to my surprise, Dean laughed again.

“Darlin’, that idiot is hooked. He’ll be back. But it’s going to be when you least expect it.” He stood up, stretching. “Go get some rest, and Sam and I will take you out in the morning. Make a full day of it. You’ve been trapped in the bunker long enough, it’s time to go cause some trouble.”

“I doubt I can rest any more than I have been,” I pointed out, and he hugged me, stroking my back and I sighed, missing Gabriel more every second. A flicker of - something - passed through my mind, and then it was gone. I returned the hug and smiled. “Fine, go sleep off whatever it was you drank, and I’ll be ready in a few hours to go face the world.”

\--------------------------------------------------  
“An amusement park? I haven’t been to one of these in forever,” I laughed, holding onto Dean and Sam’s hands. The three of us wandered around, going on rides and eating way too much junk food. It was a nice, peaceful day and I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed just doing normal things with my friends. 

As we were walking around I saw a man selling ice cream at a small stand. There was something familiar about his eyes, but before I could take a closer look, he turned away from me and another worker took over his shift. I glanced over at the boys, who were playing some game with water guns and balloons. When I glanced back, the man was gone. 

Shrugging, I walked over to the Winchesters and started laughing. They were both awful shots. 

“Funny how men named Winchester can't win a carnival shooting game.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Obviously the games here are rigged.” The guy running the game gave Sam a look and suggested we move along. 

“Hey, there's a haunted house,” Dean said, pulling us towards it. I dug my heels in. The guy taking tickets was the same one who had been watching me earlier at the ice cream stand. 

I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something weird about him.

“Uh uh. No way.” 

“Seriously? You fight real monsters and are afraid to meet up with kids in bad make-up waving their arms around?” Dean teased, pulling me in for a hug. I had a feeling I was being watched. I shook off my nerves and punched his arm lightly.

“I didn't fight anyone and I hate the dark. You two go on, and I'll wait here.”

“No offense, but I am not wandering a carnival attraction with my brother,” Sam said, shaking his head. “You're our date, so you are going inside. Besides, if I get scared, I am not grabbing Dean's hand.”

I started laughing as Dean insisted that Sam would be running from the attraction so fast he'd leave a Sasquatch sized hole in the walls. Before I knew it, we were next in line.

The ticket taker wouldn't make eye contact with any of us, but he didn't creep me out. In fact, he was starting to get more familiar to me. 

I decided to test out my theory, and put my arm around Dean's waist, kissing his cheek. The ticket taker glared at me and his whiskey colored eyes seemed to turn a bit more like molten gold. Bingo.

“Fine, but if I get scared, you better protect me. Sam's liable to run off and leave me behind.”

Sam glanced at the guy to hand him our tickets and his eyes widened just a bit before he turned away from him to grab me in a bone crushing hug. 

“Ready, baby girl?” He gave me a wink, and I bit my lip. I reached up to kiss his cheek.

“I'm more than ready.”

Dean had gone up ahead so didn't notice the ride operator grip the steel bar separating us from the people waiting in line.

But I noticed the divider was slightly bent when he released it. I looked him in the eye and winked. Then my dates and I entered the house together.


	7. Chapter 7

We made our way into the house, oohing and awing over the teen actors trying their best to scare us. Slowly, the kids realized that we weren’t going to scream in terror, and basically left us to our own devices. 

Of course, this meant that when we got to the torture chamber, the boys walked right up to the ‘mad scientist’s’ lab table and started pretending to decapitate each other. I rolled my eyes at the young girls who were following behind us and giggling over my dates. I walked ahead, not wanting to get between the guys and their adoring fans. After a few minutes, I realized that I was completely turned around. 

I was somehow in a long corridor that didn’t seem to fit into the house plan. There was no way this hallway was part of the building. Did I end up in a basement? I didn’t remember going down any stairs. The silence was unnerving. I could imagine eyes on my every move, and they weren’t friendly.

“Um, Sam? Dean?” I called out behind me, but no one answered. Great, I had gotten separated from them and since I have never had a decent sense of direction, I knew this was going to get ugly really quickly. I tried walking back the way I’d come, but there was a door in front of me when I knew I hadn’t walked through it during my wanderings.

Looking at the door, I froze - it was the one from my dreams. Now I was starting to get nervous. Maybe I had seen doors like this before and one had ended up in my head. I mean, I didn’t remember seeing a door like this, but how else had it ended up in my nightmares? It was familiar. Never mind that the door was eight feet high, blood red, and weird scratching noises were coming from the other side. The side that I knew I had to get through to find the boys.

The handle of the door seemed to move. Like someone was on the other side. I froze, staring at the doorknob, watching it turn. This was not happening, this was a child’s carnival attraction and there was nothing to be afraid of because the vampires were dead, and there wasn’t anyone after me, and I was building quite a nice panic for myself. Deep breaths were what I needed, but I could barely remember to breathe. The doorknob continued to turn, and I didn’t want to stick around to see what was coming after me.

I turned and ran as fast as I could towards the end of the hallway only to see that it didn’t branch out to an escape route. There were no other doors lining the hall, no windows. Behind me, I heard the door crash open, and the impossible sounds of water rushing towards me. Forcing myself to turn, I was terrified to see an immense wave heading my way. Screaming, I pounded on the walls, begging for someone to help me.

“Gabriel!” I screamed his name, terrified. I was going to die, and he was never going to know how much I loved him. He had to have heard me, I knew he was nearby - unless, he didn’t really care about me after all. 

As the water flooded around me, I felt the air leave my lungs. I sensed something evil was in the water with me, reaching towards me. I tried to rise to the surface, but there was no air anywhere in the enclosed hallway. I began to cry as my vision faded, a hand reached out and grabbed my leg, just like in my dream, and then - nothing.

\------------------------------------------------------------

 

When I woke up, my blurry vision could make out whiskey colored eyes staring into mine. I reached up to touch his face, then heard my name being called. I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them seconds later, my rescuer was gone. Or maybe I had just imagined him there.

“Sweetie, are you okay? Don’t try to move,” Sam was cradling me in his arms and I weakly looked around for my angel. The pain in my head was getting out of control, and I started shivering. Everything was so cold.

“Gabriel,” I whispered, and I saw Sam give a quick glance towards his brother. I swallowed thickly and looked around. We weren't at the carnival anymore. I was slightly surprised to see we were back at the bunker, in my room. I was dressed in flannel pajamas and covered by one of my favorite blankets. I didn’t want to know how that happened, but part of me hoped it had been Gabriel, even if I knew he’d probably just snapped his fingers to get me into warmer clothes. 

“Let me look at her,” Castiel said, pushing past Sam. He frowned at me, brushing hair from my face. He called to me in an obscure dialect of Latin, which he only did when he didn't want the guys to understand him. I guess their Enochian was getting better.

“Inlustris (starlight),” he whispered. I knew he was scared now, because he didn't call me that unless there was deep shit. He continued the Latin, telling me not to tell the boys what I'd seen. I was confused, but nodded. 

“Cas,” Dean asked. 

“I'm just telling her that she'll be alright, speaking another language to her helps her focus on what I am saying.”

I'm not sure if they believed him, but the two brothers left my room so that I could sleep.

Castiel sat on my bed, next to me, holding my hand. Once he was sure we were alone, he stared at me as if I held all the mysteries of the universe. 

“You haven't been honest with me,” he said. 

“About what?”

“You had a premonition. You're not a prophet but you saw the future. You saw the door.” He paused. “Did - did you see anything else?”

“Why do you know about my dream?” 

“Starlight, I've been your friend since you were a child. And never once have I felt such terror from you. He hasn't either.” I didn't need to ask who he was. I turned my head so that he couldn't see my tears.”Your dreams have been thrown into my mind every night, each time getting stronger and more intense. Do you remember them when you awaken?” At my nod, he held my hand and waited.

“Something Is still after me. Something horrible. But Gabriel saved me, he was there. Did he heal me?”

“Yes,and no.” At my puzzled frown, he took a deep breath. “This isn't how this was supposed to happen. My brother should have claimed you as his mate by now.”

“It’s hard for him to do that when he keeps hiding from me.” I sat up, and he put an arm around my shoulders to comfort me. Part of me remembered him doing this when I had been a child, waking from nightmares I could never really recall afterwards. 

“He’s never far from you, my little one. But neither is, well, something else.”

“What aren't you telling me?”

His blue eyes held mine, and I could see the layer of immense power behind his usual laid back stare. Whatever this was, it wasn’t good.

“When the two of you figured out that you are indeed soulmates, it didn't go unnoticed by others who would like nothing more than to destroy the mate of an archangel. If he'd claimed you as he should have, you would be protected by all of Heaven. As he has not, you are woefully unprotected.” 

“I saw him. He saved me. I didn't imagine that.” I shuddered. “How can he stay away now? Knowing that there is something out there ready to kill me?”

“He refuses to believe he is adequate to protect you.”

“But he's an archangel and you're just an angel. I mean, isn't he more powerful than regular angels?”

His wry glare almost made me giggle. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

He rolled his eyes and leaned back into the headboard, pulling me next to him, just like when I was a child having bad dreams. He seemed to be figuring out how to word things to me.

“He is an archangel and your mate, well, will be when he gets his head out of his posterior. But I’m your guardian angel and that isn’t a connection that can be transferred to someone else. This is part of the reason he has been adamant that he is not supposed to be with you. He does not distinguish that I was given the task of protecting a small child but he was given,well, you.” 

“You’re my guardian angel.” At his nod I bit my lip. “Sort of like a….father, right?” I guessed that in hindsight, that made sense. Cas had always been there, like a father. 

“I wish I was your father,” he whispered. “I could have no greater joy than having you as one of my own children.” I looked up at him and smiled through tears. Hugging him, I felt a bit of peace.

“Doesn’t he know I’ve always thought of you like that?” I whispered. “How can that idiot think that you are my soulmate when I’ve always thought of you as a father.”

For a moment, Cas looked at me with a mixture of surprise and pride. “I had always hoped, but didn’t want to assume you felt that way.”

“Well I do. You were my only friend after my parents died.” I looked at him, not sure I’d be prepared for his answer, but had to ask. “Cas, why didn’t you want the boys to know what happened to me?”

“Because they would immediately begin hunting your tormentor. And this is one adversary that they cannot vanquish.Only you and my brother can do so, but there are obstacles.”

“Aren’t there always? What is after me?”

“It is an old creature, going by many names over the centuries. Angels and humans originally were not supposed to mate. So a creature was created to prevent this. They have been mostly eliminated by our kind, it was decided that we can’t espouse free will yet destroy it when it comes to the most intimate of relationships. But - one apparently survived. If the Winchesters try to go against it, they will be destroyed.”

“But how can Gabriel and I defeat something like that?”

“That’s what I’m trying to explain. You two must finish the bond that you started. It is quite strong. I’ve never seen a human able to ensnare an angel’s soul without trying to do so. And the creature can sense this too.”

“Fine, why can’t your dad do something?”

“Again, free will. The creature is keeping to its purpose. It is not evil. The ones that were destroyed were defeated by the couples in question, in a fair conflict. I’m sorry, my little light, but the only way to stop this is for you and Gabriel to defeat it.”

“He won’t stay near enough to me to fight.”

“I believe that you have ways to make him come to you,” Castiel looked a bit uncomfortable. I frowned again, then realized what he was saying.

“He’s blocked the connection,” I said, a bit annoyed. Castiel sighed and glanced away.

“You can - unblock it - given the correct motivation.”

“You aren’t asking me to hit on you?” I said, horrified. He laughed and gave me a hug.

“No, sweet daughter, I am not. However, there are other men in the world. Two of them in this bunker who would gladly be of service.”

“You want me to prostitute myself to one of my friends?” I was shocked, who was this man and what had he done with Cas?

“No. But you have a - vivid imagination. Use it. Write the story in your mind that will get your soulmate’s attention.” He paused. “Make it so that he cannot control his need for you.”

I was starting to get the picture. I smirked, feeling confident for the first time in days.

“That,” I said brightly, “I can do.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know certain characters are supposedly dead. I don't care. In my mind, everyone can be in my story.

Castiel left me to my thoughts, and I got comfortable in bed. If I had to rest for a few more days, I would multitask and work out the best way to get my angel’s attention. How could we fight this creature that was determined to destroy us? How would I react to actually seeing Gabriel again, knowing that this connection was real - and dangerous?

First, I tried imagining sex with Dean. I'd run my hands slowly down his chest to the zipper on his tight jeans, softly biting his ear…..And then I started giggling. There was no way I could actually have sex with Dean. Trying to imagine that situation with Sam was just as ridiculous. 

When I went out to the kitchen to get some water, both brothers were looking anywhere but at me. My eyes widened, they could see my fantasies? 

“Um, what was that?” Dean asked, adjusting his jeans. 

“I guess when I think about stuff, it affects other people?” 

“And it will, until Gabriel claims you,” Castiel said, popping into the bunker to grab a pie.

“Cas, where are you taking that pie?” Dean asked, gazing at the dessert.

“Out for a walk,” he said in a wry voice as he disappeared. I walked back to my room, trying to figure things out. I crawled back into bed and relaxed. 

Cas had said to use my imagination and have Gabriel show up thinking I was going to sleep with Dean or Sam...both lovely options, but I obviously thought of them as my brothers. And since I thought of Cas as a father, I would have to look for a new target. 

My eyes closed and after a few minutes of thinking about it, my smile grew. It would be a long shot, but I really had nothing to lose. After I worked the plan out in my mind, I called Dean and Sam into my room and asked them to sit down. Knowing that Gabriel could hear me, even if he was pretending he couldn’t, I grabbed a notepad and pen, writing down my thoughts.

Sam held back a laugh - I knew right away he’d be okay with the idea. Dean took a look at the paper, then at me, then at the ceiling. I knew he was trying not to laugh, but was failing miserably. He took my pen and wrote on the notepad.

You’re playing with fire.

I shrugged,giving him an evil grin, then spoke aloud. “So, I was thinking that I should get out there and start dating, do something to clear the air. Too much negative energy has been surrounding me. I know I can't leave the bunker yet, so he’d have to come here.”

“Anyone in mind, baby girl?” Sam asked, teasing me since he knew as well as I did that the archangel was lurking nearby, listening to our conversation.

“Maybe we could invite Crowley, I like the way he looks in his suits.” We all ignored how my bedroom light briefly flickered.

“You’re sure you didn’t hit your head in that haunted house?” Dean asked, but he was smiling. 

“I’m serious. Obviously Gabriel has walked out on me, and what better way for this demon, or whatever it is after me to get the picture that I’m no longer a threat then to see me enjoying other men’s company?” I felt a glimmer of rage nearby, but that wasn’t enough to get this plan going. “And you guys can invite some people over too, so it doesn’t look so obvious I’m trying to get some action.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Sam nodded. “But how do you know Crowley will show up?”

“Because,” I said slowly, “Crowley likes me, and is always flirting.I like that in a man. Maybe I can get Gabriel out of my head if I have a little fun with someone else.” 

A rumble of a something echoed in the back of my mind, and I fought down the urge to laugh. “Maybe I can get him interested enough to fool around a little - get the creature to back off. Besides, it’s been awhile since I’ve had some fun with a hot guy - who didn’t turn out to be a vampire.” 

“I’m a hot guy,” Dean pointed out. 

“Yeah, but I could have you anytime I wanted. I like a challenge,” I said, smiling.

We all laughed, and the boys promised to get the party planned for later in the week. For my part, I imagined Crowley and myself slow dancing in the moonlight. This daydream had possibilities, I could feel a blush rising as I imagined the king’s strong hands drift down my naked back down to my ass. An involuntary moan slid through my parted lips. He really did look good in those suits.

The rage I’d felt earlier from Gabe seemed to intensify, and a book flew off of my bookcase, hitting the door. 

I sighed. I’d gotten his attention, now all I had to do was see this through and hope Crowley had a sense of humor about the situation.

_____________________

In the next few days, I had rested enough that we could put our plan into motion. Invitations were sent, booze was bought, pies were baked. No sign of a cranky archangel, but I could see proof that he’d been near the bunker - candy wrappers near my room, empty beer bottles of a brand I know the boys never touched. 

I’d written Crowley a short letter, and against his better judgement, Sam had gone out one night and delivered it to a demon in the area. To say the king had been delighted to help aggravate Gabriel was an understatement. He was positively giddy in his reply, and I bit back a grin. If I hadn’t loved Gabriel so much, I could have had a fun time with the king of Hell. 

I decided to wear a rather low cut red dress that had a swirly skirt that was almost too short. I finished my makeup just as the first guests arrived.

Sam and Dean had recently met up with some hunters who were friends from way back. They were also young and female. The boys had wasted no time in asking them to come over for dinner. The next guest made me smile, and I walked over to his waiting arms. 

“It's been too long,” Bobby said, giving me a hug. “I hear you've been chasing vamps now?”

“More like they've been chasing her,” Dean smirked. “She's a trouble magnet.”

“I could have told you that,” Bobby grinned. “Girl was sneaking my whiskey as soon as she could reach the cabinet.”

“I did not,” I blushed. “Castiel brought me over for a visit once, and I wanted juice. I didn’t know the bottle had liquor in it.”

“How old were you?” Sam asked. 

“Um, it was a few months after my parents died, so eight? Right after that visit, Cas had found my aunt and I lived with her until she got possessed and I met up with you guys.”

“So you got drunk at eight years old,” Dean said, whistling low. “It's always the quiet ones.”

“I certainly hope so,” Crowley said, entering the room. “It's not everyday I'm invited to be such a charming lady's escort for the evening “ He glanced over at Dean and Sam. “Hello boys.”

He then seemed to notice Bobby, and a rare, almost genuine smile appeared. “Looking good, Bobby.”

“Uh, thanks,” Bobby nodded and quickly made his way to the collection of liquor bottles the boys had set up nearby. 

Crowley took me into his arms and spun me gently around the room. His lips grazed my ear, and I giggled. 

“Just how jealous do we wish your wayward angel to get?” His low voice made me giddy, and I could feel a blush rising to my face.

“Just jealous enough to admit that he's my soulmate. Crowley, do you know anything about this creature going after angels and their mates?”

“I've heard of it, years ago. Didn't know there were any left. But you don't need to worry, pet. I'm not going to let anything evil touch that delicious body of yours.” He winked. “Unless it's me, of course.”

“What makes you think you could keep my interest?” My smirk grew as he pulled me closer. Oh. He was definitely interesting from the waist down. 

I didn't notice Cas show up until he tapped Crowley on the shoulder and cut in, much to the king’s amusement. 

“And just what are you doing, slow dancing with a demon?” His expression radiated disapproval and I gave him an innocent stare. 

“You told me to use my imagination to get Gabriel interested. Crowley is just what I need.”

“You do not need the King of Hell,” he said, frowning.

“I think a little hell is just what the doctor ordered.”

Just before he could answer, I felt a chill in the air, like something was reaching out to me. Something dangerous. I looked over at the door, and Gabriel stood there, a blonde on his arm. He glared at me and led the woman out to the dance floor. 

I reacted out of shock and spite, kissing Cas hard then glaring at Gabriel. I sent him images of Cas and I in bed, with Crowley entering me from behind as my guardian angel thrust himself into me, face to face. It was dirty, it was shocking and I didn't stop the loud moan that escaped my lips. 

I didn't notice Cas and Crowley both look at me in shock. Shit.


End file.
